If you exist

If you exist in this reality —
the one we all share — then
what is the cleat hitch
keeping you here?

They say you’re not your body.
Your body, just a vessel for your soul
or consciousness or mind, whatever.
Descartes’s whole thing stemmed
from being able to imagine himself as something else,
and you can too — yourself as
a stellar’s jay knocking seeds all over a porch,
a black bear lumbering over a log post-torpor —
your consciousness still there.
If you lose your foot, you may be
less of a body, but not less of a person.

They say you’re not your thoughts.
The echoes you hear are from someone else
who has no body (probably), lives somewhere
you cannot see, don’t have a name for.
Or, they’re just electric impulses, chemical reactions
from organs you don’t even control —
your body can’t trust you with them.
Sometimes, when you drive to work,
fold laundry, your mind leaves you anyway.
You can’t leave yourself; you’re stuck with yourself
until the battery runs out.

If you exist at all, maybe
you’re just a shadow in the fluid
around a ball of electric meat
inside a collagen cage.

it’s a new year

it’s a new year.
a wet rain fly hangs
over your shower rod.

look over three stacks of unread books.
out your window, rain falls
through steam ascending from
the open mouth of your complex’s hot tub.

ripples jump around the puddle
on the caving pool cover
like the dots on listen to wikipedia
after another gazan hospital bombing.

water drips
from a rudolph nose on your neighbor’s altima,
from the lip of a pot of dead bell peppers,
along the rust marks on the community barbecue.

above the trees,
the sky is a blank sheet of paper
staring back at you.

a calm shadow

theater marquee

an early ben gibbard haircut
black thick-rimmed glasses
a scar with a delicate history
under layers of concealer and foundation

shirt with an obscure band’s logo
an unbuttoned flannel
red and white
a heart with a brisk pace
cuffs just below their elbows
gnarled dandelion stem between their fingers

denim jeans
blue as summer sky
manufactured rips
on their knees
authentic wear
behind their ankles

adidas
the nice ones
green and gold
a bouncy toe within 

a calm shadow